When my son ran away
Have you ever done something so horrible that you felt you couldn’t forgive yourself? And if you cannot forgive yourself, you cannot allow God to forgive you. My son ran away when he was seventeen, and it was my fault.
What kind of mother would drive her son away? My pain and guilt were so huge I couldn’t function.
My colleagues taught my college classes as I bounced from wall to wall in my office, trying to get through another day of self-loathing. The story ends well but it took 10 years.
In spite of my obtuseness, God healed my heart and brought my son home. When I decided to pursue this writing journey, I chose to make sure each of my books has a moral premise, some message displaying God’s intervention in our lives. In my first novel, Deadly Decision, the message dealt with the threat of refusing to acknowledge the power of evil in our world. My message in my second book, Retribution, is different.
In Retribution, Lillian Hunter has done the unthinkable and cannot forgive herself. She moves to another town, hiding from her guilt, only to find the guilt is still with her. As she tries to reconcile with God, someone else wants to make sure she pays for another crime, one she has no guilt over committing.
I have found that life can be messy, and our actions have consequences.
God’s faithfulness is not limited to our worth or lack of. God loves us in spite of ourselves. No sin is beyond grace, no flaw requires retribution.
If your heart is heavy from some deed in your past, God wants to forgive you. And He wants you to let go of the guilt. Jesus has it under control.